Reality shows should desist from exploiting audiences in the name of entertaining them, writes Sneha May Francis
The telly is supposed to entertain, not infuriate. However, while watching the latest reality show entrant Pati, Patni Aur Woh I was filled with negative emotions. It’s a show that ignores basic ethics and propagates tacky concepts, blatantly abusing our sensibilities on the pretext of entertaining audiences.
While the US churned out reality shows by the dozen, India made a slow move. Only when B-town’s glamour doll Shilpa Shetty returned home a winner from the UK’s Big Brother did the Indian TV channels wake up to the idea of milking such concepts. Immediately production houses worked overtime, rehashing international reality shows. From American Idol to Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, we’ve seen it all tweaked to Indian tastes. And the latest to join the bandwagon is Pati Patni Aur Woh. Based on BBC’s Baby Borrowers, it has courted more controversy than fame because watching an infant being jostled around by a bunch of inconsequential TV actors is not amusing at all.
Instead of celebrity couples, the original show tracked teenage couples in a bid to teach them the nuances of parenthood. So I cannot comprehend why the channel traded the basic concept with immature telly actors; surely this is beyond reason. Is the channel trying to propagate the idea that couples should refrain from having babies? Also, the original format included a nanny who monitored the children. But the desi version went a step further and planted real parents next door. Watching those helpless teary-eyed moms watching their babies howling on screen is disheartening.
Barring one couple – Rakhi Sawant and Elesh, who dubiously hooked up on another reality show on the same channel, the rest of the faces aren’t remotely famous. Forget parenthood, these fancy non-entities can’t even brew a cup of tea without making it seem like a herculean task. It’s dreadful to watch them cribbing and whining about every-day chores.
I recall empathising with Jim Carrey’s character in Peter Weir’s The Truman Show, where he objects to being made a scapegoat for telly viewers. Out here, the sympathy lies with the viewer, instead, for being subjected to such sub-standard shows. Guess it’s time to switch off and read a book!
THE SHOW
After tricking its viewers into believing that B-town’s item girl Rakhi Sawant would tie the knot on reality show Rakhi Ki Swayamvar NDTV Imagine is back to squeeze out more from their drama queen in Pati Patni Aur Woh. The show sees five celebrity couples – Debina Bonnerjee and Gurmeet Choudhary, Rakhi and Elesh, Juhi and Sachin Shroff, Gaurav Chopra and Mouni Roy, and Shilpa and Apoorva Agnihotri – tackling parenthood challenges under the constant glare of the cameras. The show, shot over 30 days, will be divided into five stages, namely pregnancy, infants, toddlers, teenagers and the elderly. There are no winners or eliminations in this game.
(Published in e+, Gulf News, Oct 15, 2009)
Thursday, 15 October 2009
Go on, slurp it up!
The new menu at this noodle spot is mind-blowing, writes Sneha May Francis
This place has perfected the art of noodle treats. The Noodle House tempts us with irresistible dishes of the noodle kind. So when the popular joint cooked up a new menu, we couldn’t resist a visit to slurp up what was on offer.
Getting a table at The Noodle House is a nightmare, almost always, but on this particular Friday afternoon we were lucky. After being seated at a table overlooking BurJuman Centre’s water landscape, we immediately got to business. A menu sheet was torn out and our preferences ticked.
We decided to play and pick a thing from both the old and new menus. For entrées it was the Beef Ruby dumplings that caught our attention from the new edition, and the Crispy Duck Wontons were the old favourite we went for. The dough pouches filled with lightly spiced beef balls were extraordinary. The assortment of spicy sauces helped accentuate the taste further. The wontons were crispy, just as we had remembered, they were flavoured minced duck treats fried to perfection.
Then we chose the Wok Fried Honey and Sesame Chicken and the Yakisoba and Vermicelli Noodles with chicken and seafood. The crispy chicken garnished with twirls of orange peel was impressive, but it was the noodles that made an impact on our tastebuds. The magic soy sauce base, which our waitress explained was a special kind from Singapore, blended the thick and thin noodles intensely.
A few minutes after we were done relishing our spread, we shifted our focus to the desserts. OK, we cheated here, skipping the new sweet treats for old favourites – the Crispy Fried Bananas and the Mango Pudding. The batter-fried banana slices were at their crunchy best and the pudding was simply delicious. Our only regret was our inability to finish the pudding due to a lack of tummy space!
If it’s a noodle treat you’re after, then this is your place.
(Published in e+, Gulf News, Oct 15, 2009)
This place has perfected the art of noodle treats. The Noodle House tempts us with irresistible dishes of the noodle kind. So when the popular joint cooked up a new menu, we couldn’t resist a visit to slurp up what was on offer.
Getting a table at The Noodle House is a nightmare, almost always, but on this particular Friday afternoon we were lucky. After being seated at a table overlooking BurJuman Centre’s water landscape, we immediately got to business. A menu sheet was torn out and our preferences ticked.
We decided to play and pick a thing from both the old and new menus. For entrées it was the Beef Ruby dumplings that caught our attention from the new edition, and the Crispy Duck Wontons were the old favourite we went for. The dough pouches filled with lightly spiced beef balls were extraordinary. The assortment of spicy sauces helped accentuate the taste further. The wontons were crispy, just as we had remembered, they were flavoured minced duck treats fried to perfection.
Then we chose the Wok Fried Honey and Sesame Chicken and the Yakisoba and Vermicelli Noodles with chicken and seafood. The crispy chicken garnished with twirls of orange peel was impressive, but it was the noodles that made an impact on our tastebuds. The magic soy sauce base, which our waitress explained was a special kind from Singapore, blended the thick and thin noodles intensely.
A few minutes after we were done relishing our spread, we shifted our focus to the desserts. OK, we cheated here, skipping the new sweet treats for old favourites – the Crispy Fried Bananas and the Mango Pudding. The batter-fried banana slices were at their crunchy best and the pudding was simply delicious. Our only regret was our inability to finish the pudding due to a lack of tummy space!
If it’s a noodle treat you’re after, then this is your place.
(Published in e+, Gulf News, Oct 15, 2009)
Wipe it out
This action thriller lacks real punch, hence it failed Sneha May Francis acid test.
Pentane, a gas that temporarily wipes out memory, intrigued film-maker Suparn Verma so much so that it prompted him to make a film about it. However, the idea, a rip-off from Colombian flick Unknown, didn’t actually translate into a good film. Instead, the attempt turned out to be so torturous that after watching the movie I wished to lay my hands on the gas, inhale it and erase Acid Factory from my memory!
Verma lacks maturity as a story teller. His obssession with car chases, inability to break away from Bollywood cliches and poor character sketches leaves us with a lame thriller. In an attempt to be clever, Verma pushes in twists around the plot, making the ordeal more painful for the viewer. In fact, the entire premise that locks up six characters in an acid factory, makes it a little hard to believe.
Despite being a rip-off, writer Milind Gadagkar didn’t tweak it enough to give it an edge over the original. Dialogues by Saurabh Shukla border on the inane, with "I’ll kill you" shouted randomly by almost all characters at various points in the film. The screenplay by Verma, who earlier reviewed films for online portal rediff.com, and film-maker Sanjay Gupta, known for his Hollywood re-hashes like Kaante and Musafir, leaves a lot to be desired. The only point Verma scored was for chopping the film to two hours!
With so much going on with the script, it was Bajpai’s killer act that made the journey a tad tolerable. Despite being a badly-etched character, he magically pulls it through, even evoking some genuine laughs. But even his tiny role can’t save the film. The casting clearly divides the talented lot of Bajpai, Irrfan Khan and Denzongpa, from the wannabes like Dia Mirza, Khan, Dino Morea and Aftab Shivadasani. Looks like the younger team concentrated more on their looks than their acting skills.
It’s time our film-makers learnt that there’s more to making intelligent action thrillers than merely copying a script.
Perfect Take
This refreshingly realistic look at life is not to be missed insists Sneha May Francis
Imperfections and a lack of insight into his own weaknesses are what make us instantly connect with the affable, pizza-loving Sid. Ayan spins an incredibly fun tale around Siddarth Mehra, a spoilt brat loaded with cool gadgets and cooler t-shirts, who makes no qualms about living off his rich dad’s money. He lives life without worrying about its consequences, and it is his soul-searching journey that we witness in Wake Up Sid. This coming-of-age story is no Dil Chahta Hai, but he pays tribute to Farhan Akhtar’s cult film, with Sid mouthing some legendary dialogue from it. This ability to show realism without being pretentious is what works for Ayan throughout the film.
Ranbir Kapoor gives droopy-eyed Sid a charming twist, and Konkona Sen Sharma brings a mature take to Aisha, Sid’s highly motivated friend. Sharma is a natural, and it’s commendable to watch Kapoor effortlessly match her at every level. Good genes are nothing to ridicule!
A strong supporting cast pulls the film forward. Anupam Kher plays Sid’s dad – who runs a blooming business selling showers – to controlled perfection. Apart from evoking a few giggles, Supriya Pathak’s efforts to learn English to befriend her son are genuinely poignant. Newcomers Namit Das and Shikha Talsania make us realise how friends made college so much more fun. And Rahul Khanna’s charismatic yet tiny role makes for good eye-candy!
Niranjan Iyengar pens some interestingly funny dialogue and Anil Mehta’s cinematography paints Mumbai in vibrant shades.
The film lacks a meaty ending and needs tighter editing, but like its protagonist, we are so floored by its soul that minor downfalls are forgiven.
(Published in e+, Gulf News, Oct 8, 2009)
Imperfections and a lack of insight into his own weaknesses are what make us instantly connect with the affable, pizza-loving Sid. Ayan spins an incredibly fun tale around Siddarth Mehra, a spoilt brat loaded with cool gadgets and cooler t-shirts, who makes no qualms about living off his rich dad’s money. He lives life without worrying about its consequences, and it is his soul-searching journey that we witness in Wake Up Sid. This coming-of-age story is no Dil Chahta Hai, but he pays tribute to Farhan Akhtar’s cult film, with Sid mouthing some legendary dialogue from it. This ability to show realism without being pretentious is what works for Ayan throughout the film.
Ranbir Kapoor gives droopy-eyed Sid a charming twist, and Konkona Sen Sharma brings a mature take to Aisha, Sid’s highly motivated friend. Sharma is a natural, and it’s commendable to watch Kapoor effortlessly match her at every level. Good genes are nothing to ridicule!
A strong supporting cast pulls the film forward. Anupam Kher plays Sid’s dad – who runs a blooming business selling showers – to controlled perfection. Apart from evoking a few giggles, Supriya Pathak’s efforts to learn English to befriend her son are genuinely poignant. Newcomers Namit Das and Shikha Talsania make us realise how friends made college so much more fun. And Rahul Khanna’s charismatic yet tiny role makes for good eye-candy!
Niranjan Iyengar pens some interestingly funny dialogue and Anil Mehta’s cinematography paints Mumbai in vibrant shades.
The film lacks a meaty ending and needs tighter editing, but like its protagonist, we are so floored by its soul that minor downfalls are forgiven.
(Published in e+, Gulf News, Oct 8, 2009)
Wednesday, 2 September 2009
Desi twist to idol
A satire on the Indian-American fixation on all things Bollywood, writes Sneha May Francis
Loins of Punjab presents
cast Shabana Azmi, Ayesha Dharker, Ajay Naidu, Jameel Khan, Darshan Jariwala, Loveleen Mishra, Michael Raimondi
director Manish Acharya
rating (TBA)
ame has an enticing power. It lures people and causes them to push their limits so they too can have a slice of the popularity pie. It’s this desire to be number one that forces an eclectic bunch of Indians to flock to a little town in New Jersey for the title of ‘Desi Idol’. It’s American Idol, flavoured with desi style.
And like all talent hunts, this one is also more about the politics and less about the talent. Sponsored by Loins of Punjab, the contest is spread over three days, with filmmaker Acharya introducing us to the eccentric contestants one by one. Each contestant is determined to impress the judges just as they are in American Idol, except there’s no tight-lipped Simon Cowell here.
As each contestant is called in for the audition, you witness the most amusing vocal presentation, which paves the way for some hilarious moments. The only difference is Acharya’s potshot at the Bollywood obsessed Indian-American community who fine-tune their vocal chords to Indian movie songs.
The ‘Desi Idol’ contestants are put up in a hotel much to the dismay of resident guests, namely an elderly and paranoid post 9/11 American couple!
Only a handful of performances stand out – Shabana Azmi excels as the highly-strung socialite Rrita Kapoor, Ishitta Sharma plays the docile Gujarati girl Preeti Patel to a tee, Ajay Naidu’s act as a bhangra-hip-hop singer who wears a turban is a riot, Darshan Jariwala and Loveleen Mishra (Humlog’s chirpy Chutki) give the caricaturish Gujarati bandwagon a mature touch. In addition to directing the movie, Acharya doubles up as contestant Vikram Tejwani, a jobless IT geek who jots down life in percentages. Michael deserves a special mention for portraying an American participant with maturity – it’s probably because he had the talented Ayesha Dharker to give him support.
On the whole, this 90-minute flick is the perfect recipe for an enjoyable evening. Go on, buy a bucket of popcorn and get ready for some entertainment.
Published in e+, Gulf News, 03.09.09
DVD reviews
Phantom Punch
cast Ving Rhames, Stacey Dash, Nicholas Turturro
director Robert Townsend
genre Action/Drama
rating PG-15
Set in the 1950s, this is a touching tale of how an African American fights against all odds to win the world heavyweight boxing championship. Sonny Liston isn’t the crowd favourite; the prejudice of others and his fiery temper don’t gain him approval.
But this beefy boxer isn’t deterred and is a complete knock-out in the ring. His agent Cesar packages him well and helps him move up the ladder. From grim prison walls, where a priest spots his true strength, to his journey to the boxing world, we see Sonny in different shades throughout the film. Despite the tough exterior, he has a soft spot for romance, marrying his ladylove Geraldine.
But his career slides downhill after a torrid dalliance with a woman who’s off limits, and then Cassius Clay (aka Mohammad Ali) delivers the infamous ‘phantom punch’ in the ring. Sonny’s career, and life, never recover.
Rhames plays the passionate boxer to perfection. And the swift shifts from ‘vintage’ frames to colour are an aesthetic portrayal of the timeline. This is a must-see for any boxing enthusiast.
Sneha May Francis
Published in e+, Gulf News 03.09.09
cast Ving Rhames, Stacey Dash, Nicholas Turturro
director Robert Townsend
genre Action/Drama
rating PG-15
Set in the 1950s, this is a touching tale of how an African American fights against all odds to win the world heavyweight boxing championship. Sonny Liston isn’t the crowd favourite; the prejudice of others and his fiery temper don’t gain him approval.
But this beefy boxer isn’t deterred and is a complete knock-out in the ring. His agent Cesar packages him well and helps him move up the ladder. From grim prison walls, where a priest spots his true strength, to his journey to the boxing world, we see Sonny in different shades throughout the film. Despite the tough exterior, he has a soft spot for romance, marrying his ladylove Geraldine.
But his career slides downhill after a torrid dalliance with a woman who’s off limits, and then Cassius Clay (aka Mohammad Ali) delivers the infamous ‘phantom punch’ in the ring. Sonny’s career, and life, never recover.
Rhames plays the passionate boxer to perfection. And the swift shifts from ‘vintage’ frames to colour are an aesthetic portrayal of the timeline. This is a must-see for any boxing enthusiast.
Sneha May Francis
Published in e+, Gulf News 03.09.09
A lost childhood
Sikander is a sensitive tale in which two children lose their innocence, writes Sneha May Francis
Sikander
cast Ayesha Kapoor, Sanjay Suri, Parzaan Dastur, R. Madhavan, Arunodhay Singh
director Piyush Jha
rating G
ny kind of conflict can shatter the innocence of a child. Whether the turmoil is experienced at home or outside, it is bound to adversely affect their psyche. No war is fought in isolation, some survive the bloodshed unscathed, while others are roped into the mess. And it’s this harsh truth that’s depicted in Sikander.
Minutes into the film, we are rudely awakened by images of innocent school kids being dragged into the deadly game of power in Kashmir. The camera pans from violent bombings to the serene Kashmiri valley, contrasting the grim situation in a state that has for years been wracked by violence.
Sikander Raza is a normal 14-year-old Kashmiri boy, whose life revolves around a game of football. He dreams of it, plays it and always wears his spikes on his shoulders. After losing his parents in a terror strike, Sikander moves in with his aunt and uncle, for whom he’d do anything. However, Sikander’s life is made miserable after he becomes the target of three school bullies. It’s his meek behaviour and unwillingness to complain that instigates the bullies to pick on him every time. Enter the docile Nazreen, who instantly befriends the boy and offers him support. Their lives, however, become embroiled in the larger Kashmiri conflict after Sikander picks up an abandoned gun on their way to school.
Piyush Jha strikingly portrays how children can be easily lured into the bloody battle for want of a washing machine or an MP3 player! What forms the essence of the film is how low cunning politicians and malicious terrorists would stoop to use children to their advantage. Parzaan Dastur has come a long way from the star-counting Punjabi tiny-tot in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai. He handles the turmoil of Sikander with maturity. After playing a blind girl in Black, Ayesha Kapoor does a fairly impressive job as Nazreen. Despite having a smaller screen presence, Sanjay Suri etches the character of a politician remarkably well, while Madhavan adds his touch to the dedicated army cop. They are both fine actors who believe in the strength of character. But the surprise package is debutante Arunodhay Singh’s menacing act as the crude terrorist. The soundtrack is pensive and pushes the story along.
Despite its slow pace, what works for Sikander is the intensity of the impact that violent situations can have on young minds. Jha exposes a side of war that’s often ignored. A remarkable effort to look at the other side of terror.
Published in e+, Gulf News, 27.08.09
DVD reviews
Punisher – the war zone
cast Ray Stevenson, Dominic West, Colin Salmon, Doug Hutchison
director Lexi Alexander
genre Action
rating R
Like mindless comedy, there are mindless action flicks too, and this one fits the bill to a tee. Based on an American graphic novel, the director head butts with gory action sequences that would make anyone squirm in their seats.
In this hard-hitting sequel to The Punisher, Frank ‘Punisher’ Castle continues his war against crime. He battles the loss of his entire family by dedicating his life to keep criminals off the streets.
However, one gruesome battle finds Castle on the wrong side of the law when he kills an undercover FBI agent. The war also leaves gangster Billy Russoti brutally scarred, earning him the moniker of ‘Jigsaw’. While FBI agent Paul Budiansky joins NYPD’s Punisher Task Force to avenge his partner’s death, Jigsaw ropes in his psycho brother to take down our hero.
What follows is a deafening, fierce battle which leaves most men violently deformed. Your appetite for action flicks will surely take a knock after watching this bloody flick.
Sneha May Francis
Published in e+, Gulf News, 27.08.09
cast Ray Stevenson, Dominic West, Colin Salmon, Doug Hutchison
director Lexi Alexander
genre Action
rating R
Like mindless comedy, there are mindless action flicks too, and this one fits the bill to a tee. Based on an American graphic novel, the director head butts with gory action sequences that would make anyone squirm in their seats.
In this hard-hitting sequel to The Punisher, Frank ‘Punisher’ Castle continues his war against crime. He battles the loss of his entire family by dedicating his life to keep criminals off the streets.
However, one gruesome battle finds Castle on the wrong side of the law when he kills an undercover FBI agent. The war also leaves gangster Billy Russoti brutally scarred, earning him the moniker of ‘Jigsaw’. While FBI agent Paul Budiansky joins NYPD’s Punisher Task Force to avenge his partner’s death, Jigsaw ropes in his psycho brother to take down our hero.
What follows is a deafening, fierce battle which leaves most men violently deformed. Your appetite for action flicks will surely take a knock after watching this bloody flick.
Sneha May Francis
Published in e+, Gulf News, 27.08.09
A slice of Kerala
Treat yourself to dishes that’ll send you on a nostalgic trip, writes Sneha May Francis
here’s no place like home. And there’s no food like home food! And thanks to some restaurants we can treat ourselves to a taste of our mother’s cooking despite being so far away from her kitchen. And that’s why this eatery in Bur Dubai is our number one ‘home away from home’ stopover.
Aesthetically decorated, Kumarakom serves the best Malayali comfort food. Malayalam classics from the radio set the mood as we scan the menu, taking us back in time. The menu has all the favourite delicacies, so picking one dish turns out to be a big chore. After much debating, I settled for the vegetarian Kerala meals and Prawn masala, while the husband chose Appam and Chicken Stew.
Within minutes our table was loaded with aromatic dishes. The delectable Kerala meals spread consisted of an assortment of veggie delights – aviyal (a concoction of all vegetables in a thick curd-coconut mix), beans thoran (sautéd beans with grated coconut), banana chips, pickle, pappadam (crispy bread), sambar (lentil curry), rasam (peppered tamarind curry), and mooru curry (curd-based curry).
The servings were small, but were quickly replenished by the attentive waiters. So chances are that you could pile away without paying any attention to your tummy space! The Prawn masala was flavourful and fiery. Each bite reminded me of home, of my mom. I wouldn’t say it’s as good as her cooking, but it’s definitely the best I’ve tasted in a restaurant.
The appams (hoppers) were served hot off the pan, the edges nice and crispy, with the interiors soft and fluffy. And the lightly spiced Chicken stew proved the perfect accompaniment.
We tucked away to our fill. I guess it’s OK to indulge yourself once in a while!
kumarakom
What Kerala cuisine
Where Atrium Centre, Bank Street; 04 351 2122, 04 351 2124
Why For authentic Malayali food
Cost Bill for two Dh75. (On the occasion of Onam, you can pack and take home a delicious sadhya for Dh45. This offer is available only on September 2)
Published in e+, Gulf News, 27.08.09
Tuesday, 18 August 2009
Picture perfect
After his Shakespearean treats, Vishal Bhardwaj hits the nail on the head with Kaminey, writes Sneha May Francis
Kaminey
cast Amole Gupte, Shahid Kapur, Priyanka Chopra, Chandan Roy Sanyal, Tenzing Nima
director Vishal Bhardwaj
rating TBA
It’s predictable, yet there’s an element of the unpredictable. It’s a run-of-the-mill story, yet its treatment is different. It’s this combination of the familiar and unfamiliar that makes Kaminey an extraordinary watch. Vishal Bhardwaj effortlessly takes Bollywood’s tried-and-tested formula and turns it around, à la Quentin Tarantino. It’s a film that credits the audience with some grey matter, unlike other productions that tend to spoon-feed us the story.
It’s a twisted tale about estranged twins who reunite to fight the baddies. Apart from sharing the same features, Charlie and Guddu (Kapur) are as different as chalk and cheese. One lisps (it’s ‘f’ for ‘s’), while the other stammers. While Charlie is unafraid to take on the big bad world to make a quick buck, Guddu is the docile peace-loving kind who gives in to his girl Sweety’s (Chopra) wedding plans. While one tragic incident separates the boys, another reunites them.
Kaminey takes a while to set the mood, but after the initial 15 minutes, you are sucked into the murky streets of Mumbai where a story of survival and grit unfolds. Unlike most Bollywood films, you are required to give this your full attention, as one distraction could cost you an integral twist.
Bhardwaj deserves special recognition for painting the world of crime in shades – completely alien in Hindi films. He tosses the camera around in quick, easy moves, adding character to the evil. His story is tight and the dialogue is exceptional. Bhardwaj goes on to develop each of his characters without overindulging. He packs in a few brilliant tracks – as is the norm in Hindi cinema – but doesn’t disrupt the pace of the film.
Kaminey is packed with brilliant scenes that’ll remain with you long after you’ve left the theatre. The corrupt cop Lobo coaxing Guddu to tune his answers so they’d avoid the delays caused by his stammer; Bhope bribing a little boy with money for a cycle to stop him from letting out their secret, Mikail and Bhope’s eerily childish gun battle, Charlie’s Spiderman ("Fpiderman") theme song and the colourfully rendered De Tana Tan track are some gems that Vishal throws our way. And he ends the drama with an action-packed climax, garnished subtly with humour. Looksl ike he’s taken a potshot at the mad Bollywood endings we’ve grown accustomed to.
Performance-wise, it’s Kapoor who steals the spotlight. His double act is the best I’ve ever witnessed on celluloid. Gupte follows with an equally passionate performance. He teases us with his intense portrayal of the power-hungry don/politician who is willing to sell his ideologies for money. Sanyal plays Charlie’s best buddy to menacing perfection, while Chopra takes on Guddu’s lover with childlike innocence and undying loyalty. And Nima gives the underworld don a thrilling touch.
With gripping performances, a tight script and crisp editing, Kaminey is for intelligent cinema audiences. For those who are accustomed to the sweet taste of brain-dead masala flicks, this could prove a tad tough to digest, but we suggest you give it a go. You won’t be disappointed. For ‘f’ure!
(Published in e+, Gulf News August 20, 2009)
Kaminey
cast Amole Gupte, Shahid Kapur, Priyanka Chopra, Chandan Roy Sanyal, Tenzing Nima
director Vishal Bhardwaj
rating TBA
It’s predictable, yet there’s an element of the unpredictable. It’s a run-of-the-mill story, yet its treatment is different. It’s this combination of the familiar and unfamiliar that makes Kaminey an extraordinary watch. Vishal Bhardwaj effortlessly takes Bollywood’s tried-and-tested formula and turns it around, à la Quentin Tarantino. It’s a film that credits the audience with some grey matter, unlike other productions that tend to spoon-feed us the story.
It’s a twisted tale about estranged twins who reunite to fight the baddies. Apart from sharing the same features, Charlie and Guddu (Kapur) are as different as chalk and cheese. One lisps (it’s ‘f’ for ‘s’), while the other stammers. While Charlie is unafraid to take on the big bad world to make a quick buck, Guddu is the docile peace-loving kind who gives in to his girl Sweety’s (Chopra) wedding plans. While one tragic incident separates the boys, another reunites them.
Kaminey takes a while to set the mood, but after the initial 15 minutes, you are sucked into the murky streets of Mumbai where a story of survival and grit unfolds. Unlike most Bollywood films, you are required to give this your full attention, as one distraction could cost you an integral twist.
Bhardwaj deserves special recognition for painting the world of crime in shades – completely alien in Hindi films. He tosses the camera around in quick, easy moves, adding character to the evil. His story is tight and the dialogue is exceptional. Bhardwaj goes on to develop each of his characters without overindulging. He packs in a few brilliant tracks – as is the norm in Hindi cinema – but doesn’t disrupt the pace of the film.
Kaminey is packed with brilliant scenes that’ll remain with you long after you’ve left the theatre. The corrupt cop Lobo coaxing Guddu to tune his answers so they’d avoid the delays caused by his stammer; Bhope bribing a little boy with money for a cycle to stop him from letting out their secret, Mikail and Bhope’s eerily childish gun battle, Charlie’s Spiderman ("Fpiderman") theme song and the colourfully rendered De Tana Tan track are some gems that Vishal throws our way. And he ends the drama with an action-packed climax, garnished subtly with humour. Looksl ike he’s taken a potshot at the mad Bollywood endings we’ve grown accustomed to.
Performance-wise, it’s Kapoor who steals the spotlight. His double act is the best I’ve ever witnessed on celluloid. Gupte follows with an equally passionate performance. He teases us with his intense portrayal of the power-hungry don/politician who is willing to sell his ideologies for money. Sanyal plays Charlie’s best buddy to menacing perfection, while Chopra takes on Guddu’s lover with childlike innocence and undying loyalty. And Nima gives the underworld don a thrilling touch.
With gripping performances, a tight script and crisp editing, Kaminey is for intelligent cinema audiences. For those who are accustomed to the sweet taste of brain-dead masala flicks, this could prove a tad tough to digest, but we suggest you give it a go. You won’t be disappointed. For ‘f’ure!
(Published in e+, Gulf News August 20, 2009)
Hitting it off
Luke Kenny started out as a dancer, went on to become a VJ for Channel [V] and is now a Hindi cinema star. Sneha May Francis catches up with Bollywood’s most unconventional actor to talk about his rise to fame.
ong silky locks, a thin lanky frame, pale complexion and a passion for all things musical don’t necessarily make for a quintessential Bollywood hero. But the musical wizard called Luke Kenny shocked critics by effortlessly waltzing his way to cinematic glory. He may not be in the league of the Khans, but he’s definitely created a niche for himself, proving that he’s more than just a pretty face.
Where most people translate their passion for music into merely storing their favourites on their iPods or spending fortunes on CDs, Luke channelled his love into a full-fledged career. He started off as a Channel [V] VJ, moving up the career ladder with a show of his own – the extremely popular Luke’s After Hours and finally taking on the role of the head of music programming and artist relations for the channel.
His Bollywood journey, however, wasn’t as easy. He didn’t hit the right notes with his debut Bombay Boys, a tale of a rock band. The setback, however, didn’t dissuade him from taking on the mantle of a filmmaker with 13th Floor. The film didn’t turn out lucky either, so he leapt back to what he did best – playing tracks for Channel [V].
It wasn’t until Abhishek Kapoor tempted him with Rock On!!! that he decided to take the acting bait again. The movie turned out to be a super hit, making rock music – something absolutely alien to Bollywood ears – a sudden rage in B-town. And the success has paved the way for Kenny’s Bollywood resurrection. We caught up with the outspoken artist before he embarked on the Dubai leg of the Rock On!!! concert to talk about life, music and cinema.
Tell us about your Rock On!!! experience.
"Rock On!!! has been one of the most exciting, fulfilling and exhilarating experiences. It’s rare when filmmakers choose to make films that are so courageous. And to put me into the mix, despite having access to some of the biggest stars… All that has been motivating and interesting for me as an actor and as a believer in quality cinema and a consumer of great stories."
Both Bombay Boys and Rock On!!! revolved around music themes.
"It’s probably the only similarity. Whenever there’s anything to do with music, I’m probably the first person that comes to mind because of my intrinsic involvement with music. Actually, for Bombay Boys, he [Kaisad Gustad] picked me after watching me in a play, not playing music! And when Rock On!!! came along, the music link helped."
How did Rock On!!! happen?
"It actually came out of the blue. It was just a normal day at the (Channel [V]) office when I got a call from Excel Entertainment about Abhishek Kapoor’s interest in me. After chatting with him for a while, he tells me that he wants me to audition for the film. I go ahead. Then a couple of weeks later he gives me another call saying he’s keen and that we should have another chat to finalise things."
You had to cut your hair for the role.
"Abishek explained the poignancy of the role and the reason why it needed to be done that way. I could see where he was coming from. So what’s a little hair here and there? Even though my hair was like my image, my trademark, so to speak, I knew it would always grow back again!"
Can Bollywood headbang?
"Well, there was scepticism! But Hind-rock had already seeped into the consciousness of the Indian music listener. There were bands like Strings, Euphoria and Jal. But Rock On!!! wasn’t trying to do ‘Indianised’ notes. It’s plain rock ‘n roll beats with Hindi lyrics. Once you watch the songs in context with the film, it goes to a different level, that’s why it worked."
Is the Rock On!!! soundtrack pure rock?
"I get asked that a lot. First of all, what is rock? Does rock mean loud and distorted sounds? The Beatles are rock but they were one of the biggest pop bands ever. So, if music fits a particular mindset, I think that’s what constitutes rock. When rock music came about, there was a phase of music being played because of the American conservatism in the ’50s. Then there was a bunch of people who put together the antitheses of the soft melodious sound, which was the hard jagged sounds, and that’s what became rock. So anything that gives the antithesis to a trend is probably what I’d consider rock ‘n roll. Rock On!!! music definitely fits that bill."
So you guys actually perform now?
"So many people want to see the band, knowing that the band is just four actors. I think it’s about recreating the whole experience of the film, outside the film."
Do you really play the keyboard?
" I did learn to play the keyboard for the film. Earlier, I could find notes and melodies. But for the film I got systematic training, because Abhishek was quite keen that we all learnt to play our instruments. It would be cheating the audience if we didn’t do it."
What were your co-stars like?
"The jamming sessions were fun. It’s where you actually grow as a musician. We rehearsed as much as possible before every shoot, every song, so we could develop our body language. I’ve probably performed more on stage with my band in college than the others, which definitely helped. They just had to react to my body language."
What’s next for you?
"I’m the most unconventional Bollywood actor. With more and more unconventional stories, I guess more opportunities will come my way. There have been a couple of scripts that have been sent to me, but there’s nothing that I’ve signed yet."
You’re a mix of Irish, Italian and British...?
"It’s an interesting cocktail. I’m the original Shantaram! Without the conviction, though."
Little known facts about Luke Kenny
* 1989 Kenny starts his career as a solo dancer. Later joins actor Arshad Warsi’s dance team as an associate choreographer
* 1991 Drops out of college to play the role of Jesus in a musical interpretation of The Passion Of The Christ
* 1993 to 1995 His journey as a DJ begins when he accepts a position at Channel [V] and becomes India’s first male Indian VJ
* 1998 Works as the head of music programming and artist relations for Channel [V], a post he held until 2008
* He recently signed on as contributing editor for a new magazine, Rolling Stone India, writing columns called LukeBox and Gig-A-Bites
(Published in e+, Gulf News August 20, 2009)
ong silky locks, a thin lanky frame, pale complexion and a passion for all things musical don’t necessarily make for a quintessential Bollywood hero. But the musical wizard called Luke Kenny shocked critics by effortlessly waltzing his way to cinematic glory. He may not be in the league of the Khans, but he’s definitely created a niche for himself, proving that he’s more than just a pretty face.
Where most people translate their passion for music into merely storing their favourites on their iPods or spending fortunes on CDs, Luke channelled his love into a full-fledged career. He started off as a Channel [V] VJ, moving up the career ladder with a show of his own – the extremely popular Luke’s After Hours and finally taking on the role of the head of music programming and artist relations for the channel.
His Bollywood journey, however, wasn’t as easy. He didn’t hit the right notes with his debut Bombay Boys, a tale of a rock band. The setback, however, didn’t dissuade him from taking on the mantle of a filmmaker with 13th Floor. The film didn’t turn out lucky either, so he leapt back to what he did best – playing tracks for Channel [V].
It wasn’t until Abhishek Kapoor tempted him with Rock On!!! that he decided to take the acting bait again. The movie turned out to be a super hit, making rock music – something absolutely alien to Bollywood ears – a sudden rage in B-town. And the success has paved the way for Kenny’s Bollywood resurrection. We caught up with the outspoken artist before he embarked on the Dubai leg of the Rock On!!! concert to talk about life, music and cinema.
Tell us about your Rock On!!! experience.
"Rock On!!! has been one of the most exciting, fulfilling and exhilarating experiences. It’s rare when filmmakers choose to make films that are so courageous. And to put me into the mix, despite having access to some of the biggest stars… All that has been motivating and interesting for me as an actor and as a believer in quality cinema and a consumer of great stories."
Both Bombay Boys and Rock On!!! revolved around music themes.
"It’s probably the only similarity. Whenever there’s anything to do with music, I’m probably the first person that comes to mind because of my intrinsic involvement with music. Actually, for Bombay Boys, he [Kaisad Gustad] picked me after watching me in a play, not playing music! And when Rock On!!! came along, the music link helped."
How did Rock On!!! happen?
"It actually came out of the blue. It was just a normal day at the (Channel [V]) office when I got a call from Excel Entertainment about Abhishek Kapoor’s interest in me. After chatting with him for a while, he tells me that he wants me to audition for the film. I go ahead. Then a couple of weeks later he gives me another call saying he’s keen and that we should have another chat to finalise things."
You had to cut your hair for the role.
"Abishek explained the poignancy of the role and the reason why it needed to be done that way. I could see where he was coming from. So what’s a little hair here and there? Even though my hair was like my image, my trademark, so to speak, I knew it would always grow back again!"
Can Bollywood headbang?
"Well, there was scepticism! But Hind-rock had already seeped into the consciousness of the Indian music listener. There were bands like Strings, Euphoria and Jal. But Rock On!!! wasn’t trying to do ‘Indianised’ notes. It’s plain rock ‘n roll beats with Hindi lyrics. Once you watch the songs in context with the film, it goes to a different level, that’s why it worked."
Is the Rock On!!! soundtrack pure rock?
"I get asked that a lot. First of all, what is rock? Does rock mean loud and distorted sounds? The Beatles are rock but they were one of the biggest pop bands ever. So, if music fits a particular mindset, I think that’s what constitutes rock. When rock music came about, there was a phase of music being played because of the American conservatism in the ’50s. Then there was a bunch of people who put together the antitheses of the soft melodious sound, which was the hard jagged sounds, and that’s what became rock. So anything that gives the antithesis to a trend is probably what I’d consider rock ‘n roll. Rock On!!! music definitely fits that bill."
So you guys actually perform now?
"So many people want to see the band, knowing that the band is just four actors. I think it’s about recreating the whole experience of the film, outside the film."
Do you really play the keyboard?
" I did learn to play the keyboard for the film. Earlier, I could find notes and melodies. But for the film I got systematic training, because Abhishek was quite keen that we all learnt to play our instruments. It would be cheating the audience if we didn’t do it."
What were your co-stars like?
"The jamming sessions were fun. It’s where you actually grow as a musician. We rehearsed as much as possible before every shoot, every song, so we could develop our body language. I’ve probably performed more on stage with my band in college than the others, which definitely helped. They just had to react to my body language."
What’s next for you?
"I’m the most unconventional Bollywood actor. With more and more unconventional stories, I guess more opportunities will come my way. There have been a couple of scripts that have been sent to me, but there’s nothing that I’ve signed yet."
You’re a mix of Irish, Italian and British...?
"It’s an interesting cocktail. I’m the original Shantaram! Without the conviction, though."
Little known facts about Luke Kenny
* 1989 Kenny starts his career as a solo dancer. Later joins actor Arshad Warsi’s dance team as an associate choreographer
* 1991 Drops out of college to play the role of Jesus in a musical interpretation of The Passion Of The Christ
* 1993 to 1995 His journey as a DJ begins when he accepts a position at Channel [V] and becomes India’s first male Indian VJ
* 1998 Works as the head of music programming and artist relations for Channel [V], a post he held until 2008
* He recently signed on as contributing editor for a new magazine, Rolling Stone India, writing columns called LukeBox and Gig-A-Bites
(Published in e+, Gulf News August 20, 2009)
DVD reviews
Pink Panther 2
cast Steve Martin, Jean Reno, Andy Garcia, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Lily Tomlin, Alfred Molina, John Cleese
director Harald Zwart
genre Comedy
rating (G)
Celebrated French Detective Inspector Jacques Clouseau is reluctantly summoned by boss Inspector Dreyfus to lead a top-level international detective team after three treasures go missing from Italy, England and Japan. The only link between the thefts of the Shroud of Turin, a copy of the Magna Carta and a priceless sword is ‘The Tornado’ visiting card left at every scene. And soon after Clouseau sets out on the mission with his dream team – Pepperidge from England, Vincenzo from Italy, Kenji from Japan and Sonia from India – the prestigious Pink Panther diamond gets stolen too. Clouseau’s secretary Nicole, who doubles as his love interest, and detective-friend Gilbert Ponton also join forces. Apart from the investigation, Clouseau’s weakness for all things clad in tight skirts and his racial point of view finds him sitting with etiquette teacher Berenger and also a special place with Sonia. The silly goof-ups and buffoonery make this sequel a dull watch. A letdown for all Inspector Clouseau fans.
sneha may francis
Lakeview Terrace
cast Samuel L Jackson, Patrick Wilson, Kerry Washington
director Neil Labute
genre Drama/Thriller
rating PG15
LAPD officer Abel Turner is a no-nonsense guy. Ever since his wife’s death he’s meted out a military rule of sorts for his kids – daughter Celia and son Marcus. His bitterness translates into his work as well, where he effortlessly bad-mouths his way through each day.
His ire now falls on his new neighbours – Chris and Lisa Mattson, whose inter-racial relationship irks Abel as he believes it’s a bad influence on his children. He continuously tortures the couple in an attempt to shoo them away from the neighbourhood. From placing flashlights that flood the Mattson’s bedroom to leaving warning parking notes, his tactics tick off the couple. But they are stubborn about not leaving their dream house because of an abusive cop.
Despite numerous attempts to reconcile their differences, Chris finds it difficult to convince Abel. Since Abel’s profession proves a roadblock for the couple to file any complaint, they suffer in silence and only rarely retaliate. Often disturbing, this DVD is not for the faint of heart.
SMF
(Published in e+, Gulf News August 20th, 2009)
cast Steve Martin, Jean Reno, Andy Garcia, Aishwarya Rai Bachchan, Lily Tomlin, Alfred Molina, John Cleese
director Harald Zwart
genre Comedy
rating (G)
Celebrated French Detective Inspector Jacques Clouseau is reluctantly summoned by boss Inspector Dreyfus to lead a top-level international detective team after three treasures go missing from Italy, England and Japan. The only link between the thefts of the Shroud of Turin, a copy of the Magna Carta and a priceless sword is ‘The Tornado’ visiting card left at every scene. And soon after Clouseau sets out on the mission with his dream team – Pepperidge from England, Vincenzo from Italy, Kenji from Japan and Sonia from India – the prestigious Pink Panther diamond gets stolen too. Clouseau’s secretary Nicole, who doubles as his love interest, and detective-friend Gilbert Ponton also join forces. Apart from the investigation, Clouseau’s weakness for all things clad in tight skirts and his racial point of view finds him sitting with etiquette teacher Berenger and also a special place with Sonia. The silly goof-ups and buffoonery make this sequel a dull watch. A letdown for all Inspector Clouseau fans.
sneha may francis
Lakeview Terrace
cast Samuel L Jackson, Patrick Wilson, Kerry Washington
director Neil Labute
genre Drama/Thriller
rating PG15
LAPD officer Abel Turner is a no-nonsense guy. Ever since his wife’s death he’s meted out a military rule of sorts for his kids – daughter Celia and son Marcus. His bitterness translates into his work as well, where he effortlessly bad-mouths his way through each day.
His ire now falls on his new neighbours – Chris and Lisa Mattson, whose inter-racial relationship irks Abel as he believes it’s a bad influence on his children. He continuously tortures the couple in an attempt to shoo them away from the neighbourhood. From placing flashlights that flood the Mattson’s bedroom to leaving warning parking notes, his tactics tick off the couple. But they are stubborn about not leaving their dream house because of an abusive cop.
Despite numerous attempts to reconcile their differences, Chris finds it difficult to convince Abel. Since Abel’s profession proves a roadblock for the couple to file any complaint, they suffer in silence and only rarely retaliate. Often disturbing, this DVD is not for the faint of heart.
SMF
(Published in e+, Gulf News August 20th, 2009)
DVD reviews
Gran Torino
cast Clint Eastwood, Bee Vang, Aheny Her
director Clint Eastwood
genre action/drama
rating PG-15
Korean War veteran Walt Kowalski is a bitter man who leads a secluded life. His reclusive ways make him unpopular among his Hmong neighbours, immigrants from Southeast Asia. He is blinded by prejudice and snarls at his neighbours at any opportunity. The grumpy widower doesn’t share an amicable relationship with his family either. Walt’s unhappy world suddenly changes when he’s drawn into the life of his teenage neighbour Thao Vang Lor, who attempts to steal his car – a classic 1972 Gran Torino, a task ordered by a Hmong gang. Walt helps Lor shake off the clutches of the gang that tries to force the youngster onto the path of crime and violence. Helping the boy out wins over Walt’s neighbours, and he reluctantly gives up his isolated life and forms a unique bond with them. Walt soon finds his new position as the protector of the neighbourhood, safeguarding their lives from the local gangs. This is Clint Eastwood’s second directorial venture after Million Dollar Baby that sees him in the lead role. It’s a sensitive tale that will leave you touched.
Sneha May Francis
Wallace & Gromit – premium collection
voices Peter Sallis, Sarah Laborde, Anne Reid
director Nick Park
genre Animation
rating (G)
You’ll form an instant bond with these two clay creatures from the famous British animation series – the affable Wallace and his obedient dog Gromit.
Wallace is an enthusiastic inventor and he allows the intelligent Gromit to operate them. The inventions mostly turn out disastrous, but that never discourages Wallace from trying his hand at something new. Every morning Wallace is machine-fed his ‘well-done’ toast and is dressed in his regular brown pants and green sweater, while the quiet, geeky Gromit checks out the Evening Post! Besides machines, Wallace also has a weakness for cheese – particularly Wensleydale.
This 2-disc collection includes a host of short funny adventures like the award-winning The Wrong Trousers and A Close Shave It also includes A Matter Of Loaf and Death, where Wallace’s heart skips a beat for a boisterous woman, much to the dismay of Gromit. Check out the feature on Wallace & Gromit.This is a perfect mood-elevator.
SMF
(Published in e+, Gulf News August 13th, 2009)
cast Clint Eastwood, Bee Vang, Aheny Her
director Clint Eastwood
genre action/drama
rating PG-15
Korean War veteran Walt Kowalski is a bitter man who leads a secluded life. His reclusive ways make him unpopular among his Hmong neighbours, immigrants from Southeast Asia. He is blinded by prejudice and snarls at his neighbours at any opportunity. The grumpy widower doesn’t share an amicable relationship with his family either. Walt’s unhappy world suddenly changes when he’s drawn into the life of his teenage neighbour Thao Vang Lor, who attempts to steal his car – a classic 1972 Gran Torino, a task ordered by a Hmong gang. Walt helps Lor shake off the clutches of the gang that tries to force the youngster onto the path of crime and violence. Helping the boy out wins over Walt’s neighbours, and he reluctantly gives up his isolated life and forms a unique bond with them. Walt soon finds his new position as the protector of the neighbourhood, safeguarding their lives from the local gangs. This is Clint Eastwood’s second directorial venture after Million Dollar Baby that sees him in the lead role. It’s a sensitive tale that will leave you touched.
Sneha May Francis
Wallace & Gromit – premium collection
voices Peter Sallis, Sarah Laborde, Anne Reid
director Nick Park
genre Animation
rating (G)
You’ll form an instant bond with these two clay creatures from the famous British animation series – the affable Wallace and his obedient dog Gromit.
Wallace is an enthusiastic inventor and he allows the intelligent Gromit to operate them. The inventions mostly turn out disastrous, but that never discourages Wallace from trying his hand at something new. Every morning Wallace is machine-fed his ‘well-done’ toast and is dressed in his regular brown pants and green sweater, while the quiet, geeky Gromit checks out the Evening Post! Besides machines, Wallace also has a weakness for cheese – particularly Wensleydale.
This 2-disc collection includes a host of short funny adventures like the award-winning The Wrong Trousers and A Close Shave It also includes A Matter Of Loaf and Death, where Wallace’s heart skips a beat for a boisterous woman, much to the dismay of Gromit. Check out the feature on Wallace & Gromit.This is a perfect mood-elevator.
SMF
(Published in e+, Gulf News August 13th, 2009)
Tuesday, 4 August 2009
No real love
Love Aaj Kal
cast Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone, Rishi Kapoor, Rahul Khanna
director Imtiaz Ali
rating (G)
An uninspiring story with cheesy lines and no real romance makes this flick dull, writes Sneha May Francis
he saccharine-induced love story almost always works its charm in Bollywood and brings instant box office luck. And that’s exactly what Imtiaz Ali banked on for his first two successful ventures – Socha Na Tha and Jab We Met. So for his third project, the filmmaker decided to add a few contemporary twists to the tried-and-tested romantic angle. But in an effort to outsmart himself Ali forgot to concentrate on the basics, leaving behind a bad screenplay, unintelligent dialogues and poor characterisation. Perhaps he hoped the charm of his earlier films would do the magic for Love Aaj Kal.
A few hasty shots spanning across parties, shopping trips and coffee outings, introduces us to Jai (Khan) and Meera (Padukone) – the new age couple who are cool, easy-going and commitment-phobic. We are quickly spun around across time zones, cities and characters, in a song sequence, leaving us thoroughly confused. Only towards the end do we realise that it’s Ali’s musical summary of his film. But what’s the point of summarising it?
In any case, Jai and Meera part ways amicably because they think they aren’t cut out for a long-distance relationship. It’s logical, yes, but it stretches logic a bit too far where they throw a ‘break-up’ party, and female friends are urged to flirt with the now single Jai, as Meera watches with absolutely no qualms. The cringe-inducing corny lines are reminiscent of a badly written school play.
Enter Veer Singh (Kapoor), the chubby turban-ed hotelier who pokes his nose into Jai’s life, urging him to believe that Meera is the ‘one’. He lectures Jai about how romance was selfless during his time and narrates how he travelled miles just to catch a glimpse of his ladylove Harleen. We are tossed across time zones, with each looking at romance, or the lack of it, during different generations, only to be told that no matter what, love conquers everything – even pushing aside personal ambitions.
Khan desperately attempts to imitate Dil Chahta Hai’s Sameer but ends up looking aged and his stiff botox-induced face expressionless. Padukone, on the other hand, looks like a dream but fails to perform. Despite a half-baked part, Kapoor gives it his all, making him a clear favourite. Harleen, whose identity is still kept under wraps for unknown reasons, is uninterestingly pretty. Khanna has a blink-and-miss role, but we do feel a lot more for him than the lead pair. Neetu Singh makes a special appearance and we only wish she stayed longer.
Overall, it’s a fair attempt by Ali, but it’s not perfect. Maybe he should invest more time picking a good screenplay next time rather than casting actors who’d double as producers and coining silly terms like the ‘mango (aam) people’. Surely it’s achievable, don’t you think?
(Published on e+, Gulf News August 6, 2009)
cast Saif Ali Khan, Deepika Padukone, Rishi Kapoor, Rahul Khanna
director Imtiaz Ali
rating (G)
An uninspiring story with cheesy lines and no real romance makes this flick dull, writes Sneha May Francis
he saccharine-induced love story almost always works its charm in Bollywood and brings instant box office luck. And that’s exactly what Imtiaz Ali banked on for his first two successful ventures – Socha Na Tha and Jab We Met. So for his third project, the filmmaker decided to add a few contemporary twists to the tried-and-tested romantic angle. But in an effort to outsmart himself Ali forgot to concentrate on the basics, leaving behind a bad screenplay, unintelligent dialogues and poor characterisation. Perhaps he hoped the charm of his earlier films would do the magic for Love Aaj Kal.
A few hasty shots spanning across parties, shopping trips and coffee outings, introduces us to Jai (Khan) and Meera (Padukone) – the new age couple who are cool, easy-going and commitment-phobic. We are quickly spun around across time zones, cities and characters, in a song sequence, leaving us thoroughly confused. Only towards the end do we realise that it’s Ali’s musical summary of his film. But what’s the point of summarising it?
In any case, Jai and Meera part ways amicably because they think they aren’t cut out for a long-distance relationship. It’s logical, yes, but it stretches logic a bit too far where they throw a ‘break-up’ party, and female friends are urged to flirt with the now single Jai, as Meera watches with absolutely no qualms. The cringe-inducing corny lines are reminiscent of a badly written school play.
Enter Veer Singh (Kapoor), the chubby turban-ed hotelier who pokes his nose into Jai’s life, urging him to believe that Meera is the ‘one’. He lectures Jai about how romance was selfless during his time and narrates how he travelled miles just to catch a glimpse of his ladylove Harleen. We are tossed across time zones, with each looking at romance, or the lack of it, during different generations, only to be told that no matter what, love conquers everything – even pushing aside personal ambitions.
Khan desperately attempts to imitate Dil Chahta Hai’s Sameer but ends up looking aged and his stiff botox-induced face expressionless. Padukone, on the other hand, looks like a dream but fails to perform. Despite a half-baked part, Kapoor gives it his all, making him a clear favourite. Harleen, whose identity is still kept under wraps for unknown reasons, is uninterestingly pretty. Khanna has a blink-and-miss role, but we do feel a lot more for him than the lead pair. Neetu Singh makes a special appearance and we only wish she stayed longer.
Overall, it’s a fair attempt by Ali, but it’s not perfect. Maybe he should invest more time picking a good screenplay next time rather than casting actors who’d double as producers and coining silly terms like the ‘mango (aam) people’. Surely it’s achievable, don’t you think?
(Published on e+, Gulf News August 6, 2009)
DVD reviews
Red Dust
cast Hilary Swank, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Jamie Bartlett, Ian Roberts
director Tom Hooper
genre Drama
rating PG-15
A country scarred by a gruesome racist past forms the backdrop of this sensitive tale. In an effort to bring justice to the parents of Steve Sizela (Loyiso Gxwala), who went missing after he was arrested for political activism in 1986, New-York based attorney Sarah Barcant (Swank) returns to a sun-kissed South Africa desperately trying to find the truth. Her only hope is Alex Mpondo (Ejiofor), who is contesting the amnesty application of police officer Dirk Hendricks (Bartlett) who brutally tortured him for his political links. Now a member of the South African Parliament, Mpondo is determined to find his missing friend Sizela, and Barcant desperately tries to piece together the puzzle. But Mpondo’s weak memory proves an obstacle. Barcant battles a dark past of her own: she was punished for courting a coloured man. The gripping tale and strong characterisation make for an emotional ride.
Sneha May Francis
Duplicity
cast Julia Roberts, Clive Owen
director Tony Gilroy
genre Thriller/Drama
rating PG-12
They are quick, smart and extremely talented. Yet they’re unable to set aside their professional ambitions and have a normal romantic relationship. CIA officer Claire Stenwick (Roberts) and MI6 officer Ray Kowal (Clive Owen), give up their spy games for corporate glory, only because they figure that’s where the hard cash is.
Together they devise the perfect plan to make some hard cash and keep their romantic inclinations hidden. However, they have to fight their inner contradictions and their inability to trust one another before starting out on the big game.
It’s a race to secure the perfect product formula that’d bring unimaginable monetary gain to the industry that patents it. Corporate giants Howerd Tully (Tom Wilkinson) and Dick Garsil (Paul Giamatti) battle it out to win the secret formula for their own gain. They hire the agents to work towards unearthing the killer secret, only they don’t know that the agents are playing them. With tight editing, a gripping storyline, crisp dialogue and controlled performances, this DVD is a must-see!
SMF
Clubland
cast Brenda Blethyn, Khan Chittenden, Emma Booth, Richard Wilson
director Cherie Nowlan
genre Drama
rating PG-15
Tim Dwight (Chittenden) doesn’t lead the life of a normal 21-year-old. He spends long hours taking care of his disabled brother Mark (Wilson) and drives his comedienne-mother Jean (British actress Blethyn) around in his rickety truck for her night performances. They’ve lead a very sheltered life, with their boisterous mum keeping both boys under her tight control.
But things change when he meets the lovely Jill (Booth). Tim begins to crave for everything that a boy his age does. But his mushy romance is jeopardised by his demanding mother, who is unwilling to give in to her son’s demands. Jean’s sharp tongue leads to numerous conflicts between Tim and Jill. Yet she refuses to tone it down.
Jean pins her hopes on the revival of her comic career and wants her son to keep her happy and leave the girl. It’s an emotional roller-coaster of a movie. Despite Jean’s eccentricities, you can’t help forming a bond with her. But it’s the role of Mark that acts as the glue for the diverse characters.
SMF
(Pubished in e+, Gulf News Aug. 6th 2009 issue)
cast Hilary Swank, Chiwetel Ejiofor, Jamie Bartlett, Ian Roberts
director Tom Hooper
genre Drama
rating PG-15
A country scarred by a gruesome racist past forms the backdrop of this sensitive tale. In an effort to bring justice to the parents of Steve Sizela (Loyiso Gxwala), who went missing after he was arrested for political activism in 1986, New-York based attorney Sarah Barcant (Swank) returns to a sun-kissed South Africa desperately trying to find the truth. Her only hope is Alex Mpondo (Ejiofor), who is contesting the amnesty application of police officer Dirk Hendricks (Bartlett) who brutally tortured him for his political links. Now a member of the South African Parliament, Mpondo is determined to find his missing friend Sizela, and Barcant desperately tries to piece together the puzzle. But Mpondo’s weak memory proves an obstacle. Barcant battles a dark past of her own: she was punished for courting a coloured man. The gripping tale and strong characterisation make for an emotional ride.
Sneha May Francis
Duplicity
cast Julia Roberts, Clive Owen
director Tony Gilroy
genre Thriller/Drama
rating PG-12
They are quick, smart and extremely talented. Yet they’re unable to set aside their professional ambitions and have a normal romantic relationship. CIA officer Claire Stenwick (Roberts) and MI6 officer Ray Kowal (Clive Owen), give up their spy games for corporate glory, only because they figure that’s where the hard cash is.
Together they devise the perfect plan to make some hard cash and keep their romantic inclinations hidden. However, they have to fight their inner contradictions and their inability to trust one another before starting out on the big game.
It’s a race to secure the perfect product formula that’d bring unimaginable monetary gain to the industry that patents it. Corporate giants Howerd Tully (Tom Wilkinson) and Dick Garsil (Paul Giamatti) battle it out to win the secret formula for their own gain. They hire the agents to work towards unearthing the killer secret, only they don’t know that the agents are playing them. With tight editing, a gripping storyline, crisp dialogue and controlled performances, this DVD is a must-see!
SMF
Clubland
cast Brenda Blethyn, Khan Chittenden, Emma Booth, Richard Wilson
director Cherie Nowlan
genre Drama
rating PG-15
Tim Dwight (Chittenden) doesn’t lead the life of a normal 21-year-old. He spends long hours taking care of his disabled brother Mark (Wilson) and drives his comedienne-mother Jean (British actress Blethyn) around in his rickety truck for her night performances. They’ve lead a very sheltered life, with their boisterous mum keeping both boys under her tight control.
But things change when he meets the lovely Jill (Booth). Tim begins to crave for everything that a boy his age does. But his mushy romance is jeopardised by his demanding mother, who is unwilling to give in to her son’s demands. Jean’s sharp tongue leads to numerous conflicts between Tim and Jill. Yet she refuses to tone it down.
Jean pins her hopes on the revival of her comic career and wants her son to keep her happy and leave the girl. It’s an emotional roller-coaster of a movie. Despite Jean’s eccentricities, you can’t help forming a bond with her. But it’s the role of Mark that acts as the glue for the diverse characters.
SMF
(Pubished in e+, Gulf News Aug. 6th 2009 issue)
Sunday, 26 July 2009
Out of luck
This action flick is weakened by a poor script, lack of logic and weak performances, writes Sneha May Francis
cast Imran Khan, Shruti Hassan, Danny Denzongpa, Sanjay Dutt, Ravi Kishan, Mithun Chakraborty, Chitrashi Rawat
director Soham Shah
rating (G)
Moussa (Dutt) devises a game that ropes in people, desperate for cash but with unbelievable luck, to cheat death. Helping him scout for prospective participants is his faithful sidekick Tamang (Denzongpa). Once a handful of players is collected, they are packed off to Cape Town for the grand finale, where people from across the globe bet on their lives.
Ram Mehra (Khan) is a miracle boy who learns about his powerful luck after selling lottery tickets to Tamang. But the same luck eluded him when struggling to square up his dad’s debts. The other contenders are Major Jawal Pratap Singh, (Chakraborty) who hopes to treat his dying wife; Shortkut (Rawat), a Pakistani camel jockey dreaming of making it big; Raaghav (Kishan) a serial killer who wins back his life due to a weak rope; and Ayesha (Hassan) who wants to get even with her sister’s ‘killer’.
It’s a neat plot, no doubt, but Shah’s sluggish approach leaves too many loopholes. The game is along the lines of the AXN Fear Factor TV series, only you could lose your life in this version. And unlike the hit telly show, Tamang forgets to brief the contestants before each game, but rather gives them a peptalk on ‘luck’. The participants, barring the lead gang, are a mix of nationalities, some that even speak fluent Hindi! For an action flick that boasts involving an international betting industry, the stunts turn out way too shoddy. It’s ironic how this death-defying game sees almost all the Indian contingent walking away unscathed, barring one minor accident.
Denzongpa outshines the rest with his controlled, classy act. The first runner-up is Rawat for her earnest energetic portrayal, while Kishan takes the second-runner up slot for his menacing performance. The fourth position is a tie between veterans Chakravorty, who appears too aged and muffled in his thick sweaters, and Dutt, who looks bloated as the tough guy. As for debutante Hassan, she hasn’t inherited any talent from her famous actor parents Kamal and Sarika. And lead man Khan is a misfit, he’s more of a young romantic than a rustic action hero. Hopefully he’ll make a more realistic pick for his next film.
For a filmmaker who started off with flop Kaal, this is definitely an improvement. But if you haven’t been subjected to this torturous film yet, consider yourself... er, lucky!
(Published in e+, Gulf News, July 30, 2009)
Appaloosa
cast Ed Harris, Renée Zellweger, Jeremy Irons, Viggo Mortensen
director Ed Harris
genre Western, Drama, Crime
rating PG
Two fearless men – Marshall Virgil Cole and his deputy Everett Hitch – ride to a town called Appaloosa to protect it from the bad guy, Randall Bragg. Their strong bond, keen interest in good vocabulary and sharp aim, help keep the town safe until a young widow, Allison French, moves into town. In Cole’s famous words: "It’s feelings that get you killed," which conveys the essence of the adventure. Yet the man is unable to break away from the "one-dollar" lady, whose treacherous ways are not unknown to him. But he’s a man in love and his deputy understands his feelings. Ed Harris takes on Robert B Parker’s novel and keeps it stylishly Western.
Sneha May Francis
(Published in e+, Gulf News, July 30, 2009)
director Ed Harris
genre Western, Drama, Crime
rating PG
Two fearless men – Marshall Virgil Cole and his deputy Everett Hitch – ride to a town called Appaloosa to protect it from the bad guy, Randall Bragg. Their strong bond, keen interest in good vocabulary and sharp aim, help keep the town safe until a young widow, Allison French, moves into town. In Cole’s famous words: "It’s feelings that get you killed," which conveys the essence of the adventure. Yet the man is unable to break away from the "one-dollar" lady, whose treacherous ways are not unknown to him. But he’s a man in love and his deputy understands his feelings. Ed Harris takes on Robert B Parker’s novel and keeps it stylishly Western.
Sneha May Francis
(Published in e+, Gulf News, July 30, 2009)
Looking Ahead
Calm, unassuming and devoid of any starry airs, Mohanlal belies his superstar stature. In Dubai on the eve of the celebration to mark his 30 years in the film industry, the Indian actor tells Sneha May Francis his long and eventful journey is just a process of life.
I must’ve been as young as eight years old when I was first fascinated by the world of Malayalam cinema. And like every little girl, even I dreamt of rubbing shoulders with famous actors. Surprisingly the dream came true when I was given the opportunity to meet one of the greatest actors of Malayalam cinema – Mohanlal – on the eve of the celebration that marked his 30 years in the film industry.
Lal needs little or no introduction to his South Indian audience. His contribution to Malayalam cinema is unrivalled. His dedication to acting has earned him fame and recognition. From a heart-broken Bharatanatyam dancer in Kamaladhalam to a simpleton cop in the rib-tickling Pattanapravesham series, to the loving brother in Bharatham, to an eccentric psychiatrist in Manichitrathazhu, to an Alzheimer patient in Thanmatra, his roles have been extremely diverse and he’s shown his versatility.
I walk into the Manhattan Hotel one Monday afternoon to meet the Big M. The lobby was decked out for Lal’s film shoot. The actor was delayed, as is the norm, but I wasn’t complaining as I was thoroughly entertained by the bustling activity on the set. An hour later, Lal, dressed in a simple brown shirt and jeans, walked in, greeted the crew and chalked out his interview schedule with his publicist.
My wait soon ended when Lal, with absolutely no prompting from the publicist, finished one part of the shoot and proceeded with the interview. He was at his gracious best, devoid of any starry airs. Quick introduction over and we got down to looking at his 30 year cinematic journey.
"I don’t want to look back, I only want to look forward. Thirty years is definitely a great thing for any actor, but as an individual it’s only a process of life… I give all the credit to my colleagues, my directors, my script writers and my audience," says Lal.
The humble actor is quick to point out that there have been other actors who’ve worked for a greater number of years, and he’s just one among them. But unlike most actors who take on film directing after such a long span, Lal shows no inclination, at least for now. "Direction is an entirely different field. Right now, I’ve no plans. But I may do it if I get a good proposal."
For an actor who studies each character intrinsically, whether it’s learning Bharathanatyam (classical Indian dance) for Kamaladalam or carnatic music for Bharatham, I wonder if he feels the younger generation lacks such dedication. "It’s got nothing to do with dedication. It’s the role. I was lucky to get such brilliant roles. The ’90s had some amazing films, and even now there are good films... films of Blessy, Roshan Andrews or Major Ravi." He’s quick to shoot down any talk about the dearth of good films today. "If you ask, ‘why isn’t anyone making films like Bharatham?’, then I’ll ask you to go watch Bharatham. You can’t make a film like that again," he asserts.
I prod further about the lack of good comedies in Malayalam cinema nowadays, but the actor disagrees: "It’s how you view a film. Even now, there are good films. There may be times when I find something funny but you don’t. But that doesn’t mean there are no good combination comedies."
Still on the subject of comedies, Bollywood has sparked a trend of rehashing Malayalam comic classics – Short Kut, Hulchul, Garam Masala and Bhoolbhulaiya, to name a few – some of which are Lal’s films. "It’s a remake and they incorporate a lot of masalas, according to their taste. Even the entire scenario changes, locations change. So you cannot go back to your film and claim yours was the best. For the Hindi audience it’s a new film. So I have no complaints." Interestingly, Lal is part of a Bollywood remake. He and Kamal Haasan will take on A Wednesday in Tamil with Unnaipolorruvan.
Through his film career, there’ve been talks about his fondness to work only with a select group of people. The actor, however, ridicules the observation and says it’s created by gossip magazines. "There’s no truth to it. We are only a handful of people in the Malayalam industry and we are all friends. So we are bound to work with one another," he adds. Lal also rubbishes reports that senior artistes steal roles from the younger actors. He suggests it might occur among some actresses, but definitely not among the male gang. "I can’t do a 15-year-old boy’s role or a 60-year-old man’s role. We do only five to six films a year and since there are only a few of us we share the films. So there is no question of that!"
The close knit film fraternity leads us to ask about the other undisputed king of Malayalam cinema – Mammooty. "We are friends. We’ve done around 53 films together. Only in our industry would such a thing happen – where filmmakers put two big actors in one frame," he claims. Another actor who is known to get along well with Lal is Sreenivasan. Their on-screen fun chemistry has tickled us silly. And now there’s more to look forward to in the fourth sequel to Nadodikattu, titled Dasannum Vijayannum. "It’s a pipeline project. As of now, we’ve plans to do it."
While his contemporaries were trying their hands at other regional film industries, Lal remained exclusive to the Malayalam industry. It’s only recently that he ventured out to Bollywood with Ram Gopal Varma’s Company and AAG.
"I’m doing some films for Priyadarshan and there are other offers but I can’t take them because I cannot shift from Malayalam to the Hindi film industry. So when I find time and the offer is irresistible, I will do it," he adds.
On the subject of his personal life, there’s talk about his son Pravan’s initiation into films. "He did a small scene while we were shooting in Dubai last time. It was what the producers wanted. My son is more interested in theatre. But there’s no compulsion that he should join films. It’s entirely his decision."
Lal’s association with Dubai dates back nearly 25 years. "I’ve done many films, many shows and many businesses in Dubai. I stay here, I’ve lots of friends. And we’ve 1.5 million Keralites in the GCC or maybe even more. So it’s like a home for me… a second home."
Talking about business, I ask whether he considers himself a better actor or a better businessman? "I’ll say no to both. But I can say I’m a better human being."
Side-tracking from his film life, I pitch the news about his plans to start an IPL team. "Priyadarshan and I have a small cricket team in Kerala and some of the players do play in the IPL. We had a get-together recently but the media assumed that we were planning for the IPL, but that’s not true."
As we wrapped up the interview, his assistant director waited patiently near our table to whisk away the actor for the film shoot. However, despite a waiting film crew, Lal was kind enough to oblige for a few photographs before rushing out. And there ended the dream... with him walking away into the spotlight.
Published in e+, Gulf News (July 30, 2009)
I must’ve been as young as eight years old when I was first fascinated by the world of Malayalam cinema. And like every little girl, even I dreamt of rubbing shoulders with famous actors. Surprisingly the dream came true when I was given the opportunity to meet one of the greatest actors of Malayalam cinema – Mohanlal – on the eve of the celebration that marked his 30 years in the film industry.
Lal needs little or no introduction to his South Indian audience. His contribution to Malayalam cinema is unrivalled. His dedication to acting has earned him fame and recognition. From a heart-broken Bharatanatyam dancer in Kamaladhalam to a simpleton cop in the rib-tickling Pattanapravesham series, to the loving brother in Bharatham, to an eccentric psychiatrist in Manichitrathazhu, to an Alzheimer patient in Thanmatra, his roles have been extremely diverse and he’s shown his versatility.
I walk into the Manhattan Hotel one Monday afternoon to meet the Big M. The lobby was decked out for Lal’s film shoot. The actor was delayed, as is the norm, but I wasn’t complaining as I was thoroughly entertained by the bustling activity on the set. An hour later, Lal, dressed in a simple brown shirt and jeans, walked in, greeted the crew and chalked out his interview schedule with his publicist.
My wait soon ended when Lal, with absolutely no prompting from the publicist, finished one part of the shoot and proceeded with the interview. He was at his gracious best, devoid of any starry airs. Quick introduction over and we got down to looking at his 30 year cinematic journey.
"I don’t want to look back, I only want to look forward. Thirty years is definitely a great thing for any actor, but as an individual it’s only a process of life… I give all the credit to my colleagues, my directors, my script writers and my audience," says Lal.
The humble actor is quick to point out that there have been other actors who’ve worked for a greater number of years, and he’s just one among them. But unlike most actors who take on film directing after such a long span, Lal shows no inclination, at least for now. "Direction is an entirely different field. Right now, I’ve no plans. But I may do it if I get a good proposal."
For an actor who studies each character intrinsically, whether it’s learning Bharathanatyam (classical Indian dance) for Kamaladalam or carnatic music for Bharatham, I wonder if he feels the younger generation lacks such dedication. "It’s got nothing to do with dedication. It’s the role. I was lucky to get such brilliant roles. The ’90s had some amazing films, and even now there are good films... films of Blessy, Roshan Andrews or Major Ravi." He’s quick to shoot down any talk about the dearth of good films today. "If you ask, ‘why isn’t anyone making films like Bharatham?’, then I’ll ask you to go watch Bharatham. You can’t make a film like that again," he asserts.
I prod further about the lack of good comedies in Malayalam cinema nowadays, but the actor disagrees: "It’s how you view a film. Even now, there are good films. There may be times when I find something funny but you don’t. But that doesn’t mean there are no good combination comedies."
Still on the subject of comedies, Bollywood has sparked a trend of rehashing Malayalam comic classics – Short Kut, Hulchul, Garam Masala and Bhoolbhulaiya, to name a few – some of which are Lal’s films. "It’s a remake and they incorporate a lot of masalas, according to their taste. Even the entire scenario changes, locations change. So you cannot go back to your film and claim yours was the best. For the Hindi audience it’s a new film. So I have no complaints." Interestingly, Lal is part of a Bollywood remake. He and Kamal Haasan will take on A Wednesday in Tamil with Unnaipolorruvan.
Through his film career, there’ve been talks about his fondness to work only with a select group of people. The actor, however, ridicules the observation and says it’s created by gossip magazines. "There’s no truth to it. We are only a handful of people in the Malayalam industry and we are all friends. So we are bound to work with one another," he adds. Lal also rubbishes reports that senior artistes steal roles from the younger actors. He suggests it might occur among some actresses, but definitely not among the male gang. "I can’t do a 15-year-old boy’s role or a 60-year-old man’s role. We do only five to six films a year and since there are only a few of us we share the films. So there is no question of that!"
The close knit film fraternity leads us to ask about the other undisputed king of Malayalam cinema – Mammooty. "We are friends. We’ve done around 53 films together. Only in our industry would such a thing happen – where filmmakers put two big actors in one frame," he claims. Another actor who is known to get along well with Lal is Sreenivasan. Their on-screen fun chemistry has tickled us silly. And now there’s more to look forward to in the fourth sequel to Nadodikattu, titled Dasannum Vijayannum. "It’s a pipeline project. As of now, we’ve plans to do it."
While his contemporaries were trying their hands at other regional film industries, Lal remained exclusive to the Malayalam industry. It’s only recently that he ventured out to Bollywood with Ram Gopal Varma’s Company and AAG.
"I’m doing some films for Priyadarshan and there are other offers but I can’t take them because I cannot shift from Malayalam to the Hindi film industry. So when I find time and the offer is irresistible, I will do it," he adds.
On the subject of his personal life, there’s talk about his son Pravan’s initiation into films. "He did a small scene while we were shooting in Dubai last time. It was what the producers wanted. My son is more interested in theatre. But there’s no compulsion that he should join films. It’s entirely his decision."
Lal’s association with Dubai dates back nearly 25 years. "I’ve done many films, many shows and many businesses in Dubai. I stay here, I’ve lots of friends. And we’ve 1.5 million Keralites in the GCC or maybe even more. So it’s like a home for me… a second home."
Talking about business, I ask whether he considers himself a better actor or a better businessman? "I’ll say no to both. But I can say I’m a better human being."
Side-tracking from his film life, I pitch the news about his plans to start an IPL team. "Priyadarshan and I have a small cricket team in Kerala and some of the players do play in the IPL. We had a get-together recently but the media assumed that we were planning for the IPL, but that’s not true."
As we wrapped up the interview, his assistant director waited patiently near our table to whisk away the actor for the film shoot. However, despite a waiting film crew, Lal was kind enough to oblige for a few photographs before rushing out. And there ended the dream... with him walking away into the spotlight.
Published in e+, Gulf News (July 30, 2009)
Monday, 13 July 2009
Just Burgers
There's not enough zest to make these meaty monsters tick, says Sneha May Francis
I am a burger fanatic. Give me one any time of the day, and you'll see a happy me! But place one in front of me, and ask me use shiny cutlery to manoeuvre through each bite, and you're asking for trouble. I believe that a burger is meant to be held. So if using cutlery is the only option to get a bite then it's breaking my fundamental burger rule! Burgers should be easy to hold, the bun not too soggy and the flavour intact. It can be a messy affair, no doubt, but the fun lies in holding the burger delight. A question from the waitress: 'Do you like to halve your burger?', should've been an indication of what was in store.
From this tiny JBR joint's menu, which doubled as a table mat, we picked Caliente Tex-Mex burger and Cordon Bleu Chicken Burger. Our curt waiter didn't offer to help with our order and was busy attending to other customers.
My partner's beef burger was dressed in their signature salsa sauce and garnished with chopped veggies, sour cream and a layer of cheese. But the salsa sauce was so overpowering that it eliminated any of the other flavours. His only consolation being, his burger fitted perfectly into his hands.
I, however, had to juggle with the cutlery to get a hold of the large crunchy chicken breast, stuffed with gooey cheese and slices of beef ham. It was like eating a Chicken Kiev in a bun. And each cut would ooze out a layer of cheese-ham fillings, making me stop from attempting to hold the messy bun. So, while I slowly worked my way through the burger, first the meat, then a bite of the bun, my partner finished his burger with ease. I was tempted to trade in, but his burger turned out to be less flavourful. Our choice of fresh juice was refreshing and helped wash down the fatty mess.
And when I tookd a break from the cutting and chopping, I glanced through the menu which offered a host of burger options for vegetarians and seafood lovers. Only, we didn't have the stomach to try anymore.
The joint was so tiny that we were interrupted on more ocassions than one, asking us to shift our table, one way or another, in order to squeeze in more tables to accomodate more customers. Towards the end of our meal, we almost felt like we were sitting in our school canteen!
After the game of musical chairs, we thought we'd indulge our sweet cravings. We chose the NY style Cheesecake - crispy chunks of creamy cheese fillings with vanilla and strawberry ice-cream - and Uncle Brown brownies with a scoop of vanilla ice-cream. We have to give points for creativity but the flavour was nothing spectacular.
So for burger cravings we say try something else on the menu. It may result in a happier ending!
(Published on June 11, 2009, e+ GULF NEWS)
Short Kut - The con job
The film about a stolen script is a dreadful rip-off, writes Sneha May Francis
Short Kut – The Con Is On
cast Akshaye Khanna, Arshad Warsi, Amrita Rao
director Neeraj Vora
rating (G)
It’s ironic that a film which centres around a stolen script is actually a rip-off of a Malayalam film (Udayananu Tharam). Although the filmmaker, through this rather painfully boring film, drills in the message that we shouldn’t take shortcuts in life, he clearly ignored that point while lifting the story from the Malayalam cinema. But the agony does not end there. Having watched the original, which was a super-hit with genuinely funny lines, I would never have predicted how dreadful the remake would be. Anees Bazmee effortlessly reduced the brilliant original into a mediocre rehash.
Short Kut is about two guys – Rajesh Kumar (Warsi) and Shekar (Khanna) – who struggle to make it big in Bollywood. Kumar chooses to take the easy way out by cheating Shekar for a bite of fame. The film attempts to highlight the flaws of B-town politics, but falls flat, simply
because of its weak script, bad lines, over-the-top performances, uninspiring tunes, and an annoying supporting cast.
It’s depressing to watch Khanna in this ridiculous comedy. The dialogues are insipid and rarely
evokes a chuckle, forget a laugh! It’s unbelievable that Munnabhai’s Circuit aka Warsi resorts to comedy of the lowest rank. He uses all his facial muscles, in a lame attempt to make us laugh. Rao plays the role of a superstar, an image that’s eluded her in real life, and rightly
so! She tries too hard to be glamorous, but comes out looking daft. Chunky Pandey is deplorable
as the acting guru.
After producing a brilliant film like Gandhi My Father, Kapoor should’ve picked a better film to
showcase. Instead, he took the shortcut and stole a successful script, without even giving credit
to the original. Looks like he doesn’t practice what he preaches, and that’s the film’s and his greatest downfall.
(Published e+, GULF NEWS, July 16th, 2009)
Short Kut – The Con Is On
cast Akshaye Khanna, Arshad Warsi, Amrita Rao
director Neeraj Vora
rating (G)
It’s ironic that a film which centres around a stolen script is actually a rip-off of a Malayalam film (Udayananu Tharam). Although the filmmaker, through this rather painfully boring film, drills in the message that we shouldn’t take shortcuts in life, he clearly ignored that point while lifting the story from the Malayalam cinema. But the agony does not end there. Having watched the original, which was a super-hit with genuinely funny lines, I would never have predicted how dreadful the remake would be. Anees Bazmee effortlessly reduced the brilliant original into a mediocre rehash.
Short Kut is about two guys – Rajesh Kumar (Warsi) and Shekar (Khanna) – who struggle to make it big in Bollywood. Kumar chooses to take the easy way out by cheating Shekar for a bite of fame. The film attempts to highlight the flaws of B-town politics, but falls flat, simply
because of its weak script, bad lines, over-the-top performances, uninspiring tunes, and an annoying supporting cast.
It’s depressing to watch Khanna in this ridiculous comedy. The dialogues are insipid and rarely
evokes a chuckle, forget a laugh! It’s unbelievable that Munnabhai’s Circuit aka Warsi resorts to comedy of the lowest rank. He uses all his facial muscles, in a lame attempt to make us laugh. Rao plays the role of a superstar, an image that’s eluded her in real life, and rightly
so! She tries too hard to be glamorous, but comes out looking daft. Chunky Pandey is deplorable
as the acting guru.
After producing a brilliant film like Gandhi My Father, Kapoor should’ve picked a better film to
showcase. Instead, he took the shortcut and stole a successful script, without even giving credit
to the original. Looks like he doesn’t practice what he preaches, and that’s the film’s and his greatest downfall.
(Published e+, GULF NEWS, July 16th, 2009)
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