Mindless comedy

Don't waste your money or energy on this Bollywood flick, writes Sneha May Francis

Kambakkht Ishq
Cas:t Akshay Kumar, Kareena Kapoor, Aftab Shivdasani
Director: Sabir Khan
Rating PG15

When will Bollywood film-makers ever learn that throwing away truckloads of money, roping in a handful of biggies from Hollywood and Bollywood, packing in some hard punches, and dolling up their leading ladies in designer outfits isn't enough to make a film? The main ingredient – the story – is forgotten and that's what makes Kambakkht Ishq such a torturous journey.
It's a typical Bollywood 'masala' film in which the leading couple start off by abusing each other, only to reform and finally fall in love. Surely looking at their rowdy, sleazy behaviour one can't imagine either of them indulging in anything remotely romantic. Forget logic and reason, in fact leave your brains at home before heading to the cinema. That's the only way you'd be able to endure this three-and-a-half hour trauma.
It's about Viraj (Kumar), the star stuntman of the year and Simrita (Kapoor), the skinny, skimpily clad model-turned-surgeon, who proclaims 'men have no IQ'. One wonders if Sabir Khan believes that his viewers lack grey matter, which could explain why he left this mess untouched. He may have tried to work along the lines of American Pie, but ripped off the idea from Kamal Hassan's Tamil flick Pammalkesambandham.
In this crass circus, Kumar leads the buffoonery act by indulging in toilet humour. And he's got Aftab Shivdasani and Vindu Dara Singh for company. The three men resort to humour of the lowest rank. Kapoor tiptoes in her designer shoes and pretty dresses. There's no scope for acting here! Sylvester Stallone and Brandon Routh get away easily with their tiny guest appearances. Stallone's Hindi line evokes a smile, only for his effort. Denise Richards, however, is made to endure a lot more and appears aged. Kiron Kher is painful with her over-the-top Punjabi antics. Boman Irani and Javed Jafferi are brilliant actors but one wonders why they chose to demean themselves in this buffoonery.
Take my advice, don't attempt to watch this film, even on DVD!

Published July 2, 2009, e+ Gulf News